Merging two minds, not alike, into one, functional relationship is not as easy as merging two cells in Microsoft Excel. Turns out, it took massive effort, countless forgiveness, uncountable giving in, even you could lose yourself in the process. I am beginning to wonder if I am losing myself, or lost myself already. Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards is playing in the background. Sounds about just right. We constantly fight because of this thing and overthinking it. We already go through this over and over but why? Every time? Is it me, is it you, or is it us? Are working, together?

I heard that relationship is supposed to bring out the best in each other and I do not know if I become better or worse. I feel better because I learned tolerance, patience, giving in, etc. I feel worse because we still have our differences and cannot come up with a solution. You said things like 'I don't know' 'Don't think about it' yes, maybe I am overthinking. But when you said you don't know, I also don't know if this is working.

Now I really don't know. I hope I was right, that I overthink this. After all, he is the only one who could make it until now.

I pray for a better us.

Labels: thoughts